Train Of Thought.I can't relive the same depth again,Train Of Thought. by Beachx03
Once I fall in this theft again,
To kill the lying needs of people's pain again,
You've scared the insides of my soul,
With your reckless lies behind the truth,
More than once again.
These lies follow me like a train,
Like a million and one fucking times,
They killed my happiness,
With substitution of pain,
Beneath the dusty train tracks,
Underneath the rusty metal tracks,
Lies beneath the weighing truths.
Whenever the passing train passes by,
Beneath the lies that can't escape the past,
That passed us by, We just fly by, (x2)
I'm sick of this continuous pain,
Following me like a train,
Continuous lies that betrayed the dusty clear thoughts,
With the pounding pain of train tracks in the middle of the tracks.
I can't keep going on like this,
I've made a mistake,
Now the mistake follows me everywhere I go,
Whispers in the dark,
In the night,
When the light can't pass by,
When the stop light can't halt me by.
You keep talking about me like I'm the prob
This is me.|
Not too long ago I used to be a terribly awkward high-school student with low self-esteem, a dim view of human nature, and a lack of interest in anything conventional or mainstream; I used to be quite full of myself, as though I was smarter than my peers and anyone else I associated with; and I used to have such a dim view of human nature that I though I so much more unique than the rest of the world. I was an angry young person who pushed a lot of people away from me for no reason at all. But, you know what? I'm tired of being like that.
I think it took me a while too long to figure out that such a way of life was so negative and unusual for me that I was growing weary of myself. Looking back, I realize I was just going through that same premature discomfort with myself that we are all familiar with as adolescents; such discomfort made me cantankerous. I wish it hadn't, but I am not unique or exemplary like that; I am only human, and that is the best I can do.
Now, I am gradually becoming more and more adult. I am getting older and wiser- approaching my summer, as my Dad would put it- and my discomfort is melting away. The world is looking less and less threatening; the days have grown so much brighter; my mind is clearer, and my thoughts are fuller. I laugh and cheer and share that exuberant joy with others, changing my reputation from introverted and bizarrely off-putting to likeable, kind, and sociable. I love being around my fellowmen and peers, hearing what they have to say, and smiling with them. I am developing a gentle love for humanity and am proud to be a part of it. Indeed, I still cry and feel sadness and anger; but those phases come so much less often and do not last as long. So much has changed.
Nowadays, my interests have fallen into scouring scientific articles about intriguing odds and ends in psychology, biology, and trivia. My imagination has grown so active that it has extended into the building of worlds and paracosms, stories and lore for those worlds, and beings to inhabit them. I enjoy listening to music, watching science fiction shows and movies, and spending happy days with the people closest to me, even in their passing- never shall I forget them. I look to days to come and my future as it unfolds before me with more of a smile.